Feature of the Moment: What Say You?

Fall 2010 fashion is almost in full heat, and chilly nights should be fast approaching. How else to celebrate? With raging critiques! Just not mine.

I asked a couple of highly practical friends to opine on some runway looks. I gave them looks that are undoubtedly not the best, but they aren't the worst either. Read their unbiased remarks below:

Alexander McQueen Menswear

Shateka: Hell no I wouldn't be caught dead in public with that on. The whole thing is just a total mess. It's almost like a [...] Darth Vader outfit. Maybe without the gloves and Darth Vader mask it would be okay for someone. And what the hell is up with [the] shoes?!?!

Vera: Is this person male or female? This outfit might actually be pretty good for cold weather. It's thick, it looks warm, and the face mask might actually replace a thick scarf.... The face mask really bothers me; I question whether the model has [...] allergies or maybe even has some sort of contagious, airborne, sickness (though I doubt he'd be working if he did). It just doesn't make sense.

The skull pattern on the sweater is, to say the least, different and unusual. It reminds me of pirates. I do, however like the gloves and shoes, although the shoes look out of place and blend with the floor.

Alexander Wang

Shateka: The shirt--if that's what they want to call it--shows too much tummy. The thing with the long sock-looking-pants-cut-off is trashy. I don't know who in their right mind would wear that. If they make the what ever that gray thing is into a coat, it would be good on, well, anyone but me. The way the bottom is makes me wonder if she's wearing shorts or just her undies.

Shao: This outfit is so obscure, I'm not sure what kind of occasion this outfit is for. At first it looks like a business suit, but then the stomach is showing so what gives? Fall hardly ever demands that you wear sunglasses and those long socks don't look very warm. At a practicality standpoint, it's not very good in my opinion, but it looks great =). A grey/black color scheme is a good choice. I bet the guys along the front row want to take a peak to see if she's wearing any shorts or not.

Balenciaga

Shateka: She looks like a walking magazine! Atrocious!!! The pants are okay, shoes are okay but the magazine's gotta go! I would wear the pants and shoes but not together.

Mel: I love everything about this look, plus the model is pretty. The only thing is this whole ensemble does not really scream FALL for me, instead I can see this in the transition between winter and spring. I’m not too fond of the neck piece this girl has on; it looks kinda Batman-ish. Of all the looks I was asked to critique I would have to choose this look; it's fun and definitely wearable.

Bottega Veneta Menswear

Vera: It's useful and looks very warm, but it looks sloppy. If you're going to put a fancy jacket over a regular jacket and a T-shirt, you might as well hide the under layers.

I don't like that the model is walking around with his whole hands in the pockets. Hands-in-the-pockets speaks that you're uncomfortable with yourself, neurotic, and introverted. Plus, tucking entire hands into small pockets isn't good for the figure! Who would want larger hips?!

I wonder if it was even worth styling his hair into that ridiculous-looking clam shell thing on his head.

Shao: More black? What the hell? At least this one looks more practical than Alexander's. I like the coat, it's not too short or too long. The red seems out of place since the rest of the outfit is entirely black. I don't understand the significance of wearing those ugly boots in fall. This is just my personal taste but those jeans/pants ARE WAY TOO THIN. How the heck would you sit down with them? =/

Chanel

Mel: All I can say about this look is Rawr (I do not mean that in a good way)! I do not want to end up as road kill or shot by hunters because honestly when dressed like this you would definitely be mistaken for a winter forest beast. The model looks really cold and angry.

Plus points for the jacket though. I love the military style of her leather jacket and the fur on the lower portion of the jacket makes it look fun. But everything else about this outfit is just so wrong, it's just too much fur. I would not be caught dead wearing it unless I was trapped in Alaska and had to wear them to keep myself from frost bite.

Shao: At first I thought I saw a grizzly bear walking the stage. Those pants...the only way I see them being practical is if you live in the north or south pole. I like the jacket/coat thing, I want to see the rest of it but those enormous hideous pants are covering it. Color is quite plain on this one, just one color. Black and grey can get away with monochrome since they unambiguously go with anything. But brown is just too boring to only wear one color of. Those shoes, oh man, those ARE shoes right? or are her heels being covered by the ugly pants?

D&G Menswear

Shateka: What the flies?!?! I'm hoping that's for the snow. First off, how the heck is he able to walk in all that clothing? And his head is barely sticking out. I'll be honest I would buy and wear the jacket and sweater but not together. And I would wear the scarf for Christmas. But that's about it. The pants look uncomfortable to be in.

Shao: The next time I go hiking or skiing in Big Bear, I'll remember this. Jacket is great, but why isn't it zipped? There's no point in wearing an unzipped jacket made JUST for the cold weather. Who's in charge of the boots/shoes of these people? So far, all of them suck. I like the color choices with this outfit. It's not all grey like the first [and] it's not all black like the second. It's a mix of different colors and tones; I see red, green, black, grey, white, I love the diversity! Although I can't tell if it's a guy or a girl, but I'm assuming guy since a girl would wear something thinner and smaller.

Givenchy

Shateka: I title this one The Devil's Mistress. Due only because of all the red. It's not bad but it's just too much red. Maybe bring some of the black out and make it easier on the eyes. Maybe a design in black, but overall it's good. Except for the alligator shoes.

Vera: The outfit is sensible, and in neutral tones would be appropriate for work and such, although animal protectors would pounce at those reptile-skin shoes. I really love how the undershirt draws the attention there, thus creating a cool spot for sore eyes to relax.

I understand that the makeup was done to match the outfit, but the red eye-shadow makes the model look sick, as if she had some infection irritating her eyes. She doesn't look so happy to be wearing the outfit.

Prada Menswear

Shateka: Don't have much negative things to say about his outfit. Except the girly sweater's gotta go. Everything else is good.

Mel: I absolutely lurve, lurve, lurve the sweater. I love how this shade of pink complements the model's skin. I would have left one or two of the buttons unbuttoned because the look is a bit stiff. The pants and the shoes also go well with the whole look but I'm not too sure about the bag. This look would have gone well if paired with a soft brown leather bag or something of the sort.

Raf Simons

Vera: This piece is interesting. What is it? A baseball shirt under a vest, under a parka? The piece is like a puzzle, taking moments from life, such as a first game, a wedding, and maybe the winters from childhood and cramming it all together. The vertical stripes and patterns on the shirt and parka work, elongating the model and the white just "make his 'dreamy' blue eyes pop!" (Isn't that what people say when they notice clothes?)

Shao: That jacket looks ugly unzipped, but otherwise I think it looks good. Those thin pants does not go well with that gigantic jacket. Black and white color choices are good although a bit plain for my tastes. Finally some decent shoes! Even though they still look ugly =/. The way I see it, if you're big enough to fit that huge jacket, you won't be small enough to fit those thin ass pants. At least Americans won't anyway.

Vivienne Westwood Menswear

Shateka: I could see a couple of people wearing certain things. You (Nico) with the scarf. My brother with the pants. But I personally don't like the sweater and I absolutely hate the shoes. What the hell are those??? They look woven like a picnic basket.

Mel: I love the sweater, the pants and the shoes. The look is very laid back, comfortable and casual and the colors are definitely "in" for fall. The only thing I have a problem with is the scarf and the head dress. The add ons are very, very distracting and ruins the whole image.

Yves Saint Laurent

Shateka: The first thing that comes to mind is...nun status! The thing on her head is a total no-no. The necklace, purse and gloves all gotta go. The blouse is okay but in order for me to wear that, the blouse would have to be a little more snug. I like the skirt and the shoes.

Vera: I think nuns are getting tired of getting poked at in the fashion world, and maybe they're dishonored with the use of skirts that go above the knees. Going back to knees, I really hate when models or celebrities show them. Do they really want people to see the damage they’ve done to themselves by wearing high heels all the time?

The separate pieces [...] exaggerate the model's figure. The long headpiece makes her look as if she has a long neck; the heightened waist and the pencil skirt thin her down; and the heels make her legs look longer; but never have I heard of anyone who wears necklaces with 5-inch pendants that fall down past one's hips.

Again, the gloves I find very cool-looking. Hmm, maybe I have a thing for gloves.

About the critics:

Vera - has a budding interest in gloves. She has heart (maybe not for fashion) and lots of it. Follow her here!

Mel - lovable and kind, this freelance artist can bring joy to anyone--and that includes this blog! Witness more of her musings here.

Shateka - a self-described quasi-hater, she is upfront about anything and everything. See her cynical view of fashion? That's only a sample.

Shao - is discriminating when it comes to footwear. But on the whole he loves color diversity. Suck on that all-black ensembles!

All images except topmost from nymag.com; topmost screenshot from Google Images